"Ugh! This wait is killing me!" Now, just how many times have you heard yourself saying that?! Anticipation is truly something that defies all laws of physics. How else do you explain the excruciatingly slow pace of ever passing second?! I think when Einstein put forth the theory of relativity, he was probably waiting for something really badly!
Anyway, I often find that there are three important phases of anticipation- the inspiration phase, the edgy phase and the reaction phase. Well, while the second and the third phases are pretty straightforward to understand, it is the inspiration phase that interests me the most. Imagine a scenario where you JUST gave an interview, or, just asked the person of your dream out and they said they needed some time to decide. What are the thoughts that normally race through one's mind? Here's what I feel- I start off with a feeling of immense satisfaction..that of happiness..even confidence! I feel like I have conquered the world, that nothing can go wrong now. With all these positive feelings I often find myself feeling inspired- to write, to work, to try something new. There is this impending sense of success that simply drives me forth. The inspiration phase is the most interesting because it is the time when I should ideally feel jittery. But somehow the jitters are replaced by this inner peace that I have given my 100% and hence there is nothing to fear.
Then comes the very difficult edgy phase. This phase may or may not exist depending on how soon you hear the result. If it takes too long, there you have it- EDGY! The first symptoms of the edgy phase (for me at least) are getting snappy and sensitive. I often find myself getting agitated by the most minuscule of things such as there being no milk in the fridge or the coffee turning out to be too sweet! YES! Its literally so trivial! If the result does not show up soon, I seldom find my stomach getting upset or my back hurting...basically, me turning into nothing short of a hypochondriac! (Okay, maybe thats an exaggeration but you get the point!?)
Finally, comes the reaction phase. This one is good or bad depending on what you get. However, if it is bad, then the cycle seems to repeat, albeit in reverse- first comes the edginess, only now it would be called the sadness and then, once I am done wallowing, comes the inspiration. This is something like the phoenix rising from the ashes..where I know I have had enough of wallowing and it won't get me anywhere and I just need to buckle down and work harder. The only difference is, the inspiration phase here has a lining of fear and sadness.
We are faced with events that spark anticipation so many times. And I am sure we never even realize that these are all the things that go through our confused minds then! Well..this is just the brainchild of my inspiration phase, which by the way is fast turning into edgy...AAARRRGGGGHHHH! Hehehe!
