Happy in my skin?

Everyday we are reminded in some way or another of how we should be comfortable being who we are. Be it through the well practiced beauty pageant answers, or an old school memory or just our minds playing games with us every time we try to be like someone else. Is it true then? That we have to be "comfortable being who we are?" Or is it just another way of consoling ourselves because we cannot be what someone else is? Cannot do what someone else does? I think its the latter. Whom am I trying to fool when I say I am PERFECTLY happy being who I am and don't wish to change ANY thing at all?

There is slew of things I wish I could do without batting an eyelid. I wish I could spend senselessly or ramble on mindlessly grabbing everyone's attention or even snap around at people like a crocodile when I am in a bad mood. I wish I could wake up in the morning and not do anything at all and contrarily wake up early and work like a maniac! If only I could do what I felt, just when I felt, without consulting anybody. All these are perfectly normal, perfect human traits and they definitely exist in real people I know. Then why can't I be like THEM?

If I snapped around I would be deemed rude, if I spent on every trinket I saw I would be slated a spendthrift and if I listened to my heart and not my mind or my 'minders' (!) I would never be advised by them again. But despite all the consequences, I would be happy doing all those things. It would seem like cruising over the rainbow into the land of dreams...or, lolling on the greener grass on the other side...even pandering to my every craving without feeling guilty..ah..bliss!

But craving is a bucket that can never be filled. People from the land of the greener grass would probably excommunicate me with all my snapping and lazing around. After all, even if the grass is greener, it does need mowing, doesn't it? What about the times when I need some advice that even my footloose mind cannot provide? Would my 'minders' help me then? In such times of crisis, would I still be happy in my skin as I once was? Or would I crave once again to be who I used to be? Be in the old-me's skin rather than the free-and-happy-and-lonely-me's? Its a cinch I would.

So what is the moral of my long ramble here? The moral is that there is no moral to this story! No one is happy being who they are and to some level always want to be somebody else. If stagnate yourself being what you are, you end up leading a boring, unidirectional, unexciting life. But the more you try to chase being what you are not, the lonelier you get. I am no sage to sermonize on striking the perfect balance! All I know is, I am happy AND unhappy in my skin because of who I am with; my 'minders', my supporters and my people. They are  the brakes to my speeding car- no matter how exhilarating speed may be, you need to stop eventually. And I'd rather speed in glory and brake safely than crash wildly.

So, are you happy? In your skin?